how much i have lost so far

Just to let you know how i am going. It is now september and i have lost a massive 23 kilos. I am learning how to eat low carb and i am challenging my thoughts. Currently i am getting treatment for anxiety which i am seeing a professional for and she is teaching me how to challenge my thoughts. I am also beginning to believe in things in my life and myself.

a new lesson i have learnt tonight

Tonight i went to my mother-in-laws for dinner. Normally my in-laws cook the most beautiful roast dinners. However, i have realised that this is a danger place for me if i am ever going to be slim. Several things i have learnt tonight:

1) Just because people keep reiterating the fact that her roast dinners are nice doesnt mean i have to keep listening to it. I already know that they are nice.
2) Just because people keep saying they are hungry doenst mean that i am as well. (i have noticed this with other situations, eg husband, who is always hungry)
3) Just because everyone else keeps eating doesnt mean that i am as well.

I think that what i am trying to say is to stop listening to others. I am obviously affected by their thoughts and views. Just because they brag about how much they are going to eat, doesnt mean that i have to eat a lot as well. I cant let my moods be affected by others thoughts. Its not okay for me to overeat because others say they are going to overeat.

I must keep reminding myself of these things and remember to be prepared everytime i go to my in laws house.

feeling a bit blah

Over ate today, ate way to many carbs, now i feel all yuck and sluggish. I dont like this feeling, i dont want to feel it again. I used to feel this way all the time and for a while i really like the comfortable feeling i was getting from loosing weight. I must remember not to do it again.

no gall stones

Recently i have been in a slump because the doctor mentioned that i might have gall stones. However, i have been for the scan and i am okay. However, i do have mild fatty liver sydnrome. The Doctor said that there is a layer of fat on the outside of my liver.

Now i know people might not like me doing this. However, i have began Tony Ferguson. I need this for myself. After a not achieving anything for nearly four months i need to feel that i am achieving something. I really do feel that i am in the right frame of mind to really do some good this time.

who defines what is perfect

This is mainly a vent blog.

Who is it that defines what is perfection in a human. I firmly dont believe that there is a perfect human on this earth.

I hate these people that DECIDE that a person is perfect because they are beautiful or good looking. But what is defined as good looking? I dont believe there is a defination of good looking. My original thought was that this is all the fault of the male. Males consistently go after beautiful women who have the perfect hair and figure etc.

But females do it to. They define perfect as buff, with muscles, perfect hair and facial features etc.

In the end its a load of rubbish. I dont believe in any of it.


I am still waiting for this stupid scan to happen. I cant wait until next saturday.

the doctors this morning

This morning i went to the doctors and had a blood test result. It turns out that my liver counts are up which i knew already. Anyway my new doctor wants me to have a liver scan because he thinks he could be gall stones. :-( I will die if its gall stones. Anyway i was thinking about looking into a shake diet. (wrong i know, but i need something i need some kind of weightloss i need to see some results) Well i am not starting anything until i get the results of the liver scan. :-(

A new approach

I have ditiched the dieition and i am going with another program. I dont really think that person was really working for me. I am sure she is a person with lots of knowledge and know how but her personality was totally different to mine.