Being accountable

I have just finished reading more of Silvestro's book and i have realised some very important things about myself. Although i admit totally to having a weight problem i have not been honest about my behaviours sorounding my weight problem.

I know i am 29 kilos overweight, however, admitting what i did to get there has been a huge problem for me. I am in total denial about myself.

I remember the "bad" weeks when i did "sureslim" . The weeks where i had eaten something that wasnt in the diet or over indulged in something. I also remember the feelings of guilt and sadness i felt when i handed in my food diary. Although i never knew for sure, i could almost feel the consultant laughing at me or even hear their thoughts of "she's not going to achieve her goal". They probably didnt think anything of my failures, however, i had such low self esteem that i always thought people were judging me. The thing is, instead of taking this on board and trying to improve, i would only write down the healthy things i ate and conviently forgot the bad things because i didnt want to experience those bad feelings.

Well that is going to change, when i stuff up i am going to write it down and aim to improve. No more "forgetting" to write my bad moments . No more lying to myself or denial. Just honesty ! However, the hardest thing for me, is not being negetative or hard on myself. Stuff ups are apart of everyones weightloss journey and i have to be prepared to accept that.