The last few days i have been determind to change my life for the better. I have been eating really healthy and exercising everyday. My out look is changing and i am beginning to love myself more and more everyday and I am trying not to let anything effect me at all.
Yesterday i went to the city for the day. Normally i would buy myself a treat such as a chocolate or a ice cream. I didnt do that and i also had a really healthy lunch.
One thing i have been eating is rice paper rolls. I shouldn't eat to much of them because they are carbs but they are so fresh. However, they are good carbs and i would rather be eating them than a chocolate bar or something worse. Sugar makes me so sick sometimes.
I really want the weight to come off and i have never been more determined than i am right now. I want this to be my year.
Another thing is, a friend of mine i have been told might contact me. This person has hurt me very badly TWICE before. I dont think i will be making the same mistake again.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
My exercise plan
My dietition says i need to exercise 6 times a week to achieve my goal so here it goings
Monday: boot class
Tuesday: step ups, star jumps, step up, star jumps, running on the spot, lunges, squats lunges and squats with 2 and 3 pulses, if time consult dumbell books.
Wednesday: boot class
Thursday off
Friday: 40 minute walk with squats lunges, sit ups and push ups
Saturday: As above
Monday: boot class
Tuesday: step ups, star jumps, step up, star jumps, running on the spot, lunges, squats lunges and squats with 2 and 3 pulses, if time consult dumbell books.
Wednesday: boot class
Thursday off
Friday: 40 minute walk with squats lunges, sit ups and push ups
Saturday: As above
Monday, December 15, 2008
I have made a decision
Today i have made a decision about my training next year. My training at school is ending because i am transferring. I was going to go to the gym but the truth is i hate the gym. I hate exercising on a machine that has been used by someone else that has been sweating. I also feel very exposed at the gym. I cant explain the "exposure" however, i always feel very uncomfortable being there and i also feel very alone.
The advantage of training on my own is that, not only is it going to take a lot of exercising, it is going to take a total mental overhaul. I have to BELIEVE that i can do this and i have to say it over and over again. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND MY ABILITIES. When i was seeing the hypno she made me listen to this tape which said " i constantly think and act in the direction of my highest good and goal" and that is what i plan to do.
I also plan to think like a thin person. There are rules of the universe that state that you ask the universe and you think as if you already have that thing. So i am going to think that i am already thin and i am already wearing sexy clothes. I have to visualise myself having achieved my goal.
The advantage of training on my own is that, not only is it going to take a lot of exercising, it is going to take a total mental overhaul. I have to BELIEVE that i can do this and i have to say it over and over again. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND MY ABILITIES. When i was seeing the hypno she made me listen to this tape which said " i constantly think and act in the direction of my highest good and goal" and that is what i plan to do.
I also plan to think like a thin person. There are rules of the universe that state that you ask the universe and you think as if you already have that thing. So i am going to think that i am already thin and i am already wearing sexy clothes. I have to visualise myself having achieved my goal.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Being accountable
I have just finished reading more of Silvestro's book and i have realised some very important things about myself. Although i admit totally to having a weight problem i have not been honest about my behaviours sorounding my weight problem.
I know i am 29 kilos overweight, however, admitting what i did to get there has been a huge problem for me. I am in total denial about myself.
I remember the "bad" weeks when i did "sureslim" . The weeks where i had eaten something that wasnt in the diet or over indulged in something. I also remember the feelings of guilt and sadness i felt when i handed in my food diary. Although i never knew for sure, i could almost feel the consultant laughing at me or even hear their thoughts of "she's not going to achieve her goal". They probably didnt think anything of my failures, however, i had such low self esteem that i always thought people were judging me. The thing is, instead of taking this on board and trying to improve, i would only write down the healthy things i ate and conviently forgot the bad things because i didnt want to experience those bad feelings.
Well that is going to change, when i stuff up i am going to write it down and aim to improve. No more "forgetting" to write my bad moments . No more lying to myself or denial. Just honesty ! However, the hardest thing for me, is not being negetative or hard on myself. Stuff ups are apart of everyones weightloss journey and i have to be prepared to accept that.
I know i am 29 kilos overweight, however, admitting what i did to get there has been a huge problem for me. I am in total denial about myself.
I remember the "bad" weeks when i did "sureslim" . The weeks where i had eaten something that wasnt in the diet or over indulged in something. I also remember the feelings of guilt and sadness i felt when i handed in my food diary. Although i never knew for sure, i could almost feel the consultant laughing at me or even hear their thoughts of "she's not going to achieve her goal". They probably didnt think anything of my failures, however, i had such low self esteem that i always thought people were judging me. The thing is, instead of taking this on board and trying to improve, i would only write down the healthy things i ate and conviently forgot the bad things because i didnt want to experience those bad feelings.
Well that is going to change, when i stuff up i am going to write it down and aim to improve. No more "forgetting" to write my bad moments . No more lying to myself or denial. Just honesty ! However, the hardest thing for me, is not being negetative or hard on myself. Stuff ups are apart of everyones weightloss journey and i have to be prepared to accept that.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
bit of a blow out
Today i had a bit of a blow out. Before recess i was moving all of my stuff so i was using a lot of energy plus i was surrounded with a lot of dust. As soon as i went to the staff room and i saw some lollies i ate them. They werent gluten free so that is one area that i have to work on. So i shoulndt have had them anyway.
Then after school i had four freddo frogs because i was so tired and tonight i had an ice cream. In the back of my mind i figure that i have worked hard to today so i deserve it plus i had a healthy dinner. However, now that i think about ALL that i have eaten across the day it makes me shudder. Its a lot of sugar.
Strategies:
Dont sit near the lollies in the staffroom.
Take some snacks (carbs) to the staff meeting so i dont feel like sugar.
Then after school i had four freddo frogs because i was so tired and tonight i had an ice cream. In the back of my mind i figure that i have worked hard to today so i deserve it plus i had a healthy dinner. However, now that i think about ALL that i have eaten across the day it makes me shudder. Its a lot of sugar.
Strategies:
Dont sit near the lollies in the staffroom.
Take some snacks (carbs) to the staff meeting so i dont feel like sugar.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Plan for weightloss 2009
In this photo i am pretty heavy. Although since this photo has been taken i have put on more weight. My plan is place a photo on here with all 29 kilos shed.
goals for 2009:
* Be running 1 lap of the football field across the road by May 2009.
loose 29 kilos by December of 2009.
keep it off
change my way of thinking so that i choose healthy food all the time.
Learn to love myself
Not to allow the actions or verbalisations of others to affect my way of thinking.
Say something nice to someone everyday.
Make some new friends
Strategies:
Continue with Liz
Read "if i can you can" by Silvestro Musumeci
Continue reading health magazines.
Develop strategies so i can cope. Eg listening to music, drinking plenty of water, listening to Relaxiation cd.
Eating before i go out (fruit, bread, crackers etc)
When i get cravings i can; play my Wii, Read health magazines, read Silvestro, listen to my MP3 player.
Work out every day and continue with boxing.
Friday, December 5, 2008
learning to love myself
Well here goes. For the past few years i have been trying to overcome my battle with the bulge. Although i have a medical problem, i also have emotional problems which make me eat. I don't really think very highly of myself and i want to change that for the better.
Sometimes i just want to cry. But, no matter how hard i try, it doesnt want to come out. My experiences in my past have made my numb to the point where i cant express myself anymore. In the back of my mind, i dont feel valued. I feel that if i express myself that people arnt going to like me. The reality is that, what people think doenst matter. The only person i need to like is myself. If people dont like me because i express myself, then they are not true friends because true friends respect your feelings and opinions.
I have never had really "good" friends or anyone the influenced me in a positive way. I realise now that i haven't had any positive people because i don't really think very highly of myself. So as a result i attract negativity into my life.
Recently i met someone who made me realise something very important. Because i havent seen the positive things in myself i havent seen the positive things in others. I think the stems from my childhood. I grew up in a house where mental health was an issue amongst my parents. (i prefer to keep this private) I was always told as a child that i wasnt a valued person. Under the circumstances it wasnt my parents my fault and i dont know what i could have done to prevent it. However, i need to let go of the past in order to correct the future.
My problems werent just at home but at school as well. At school I was teased a lot and took a lot of what was said on board. I know there is reasearch to say how profound the effects of bullying are, well i am living proof. The research is true and very accurate.
However, i want to improve things and i have to start with myself. As i write this passage, i am coming to the realisation that there were positive things in my childhood. I just have to start acknowledging them.
The first thing i am going to do is acknowledge others and their efforts. I know people say that you must acknowledge the positives in yourself before you acknowledge others . Well i am going to do it in reverse. I am going to build others and build myself at the same time. I have made it my goal say something nice to someone everyday and I have started tonight. I told my mum that i appreciate everything she did for me as a child and i told my friend Tim that i appreciate his friendship. I told my friend Kylee that she looked cute in her picture that was featured in a RSL magazine recently.
Well here goes, this is the start of my journey. Hopefully this will result in me loving myself and being the person i want to be. Which is happy and healthy (which means also slim). I want to take care of my body and realise that i am a valued member of the human race. I also want to be unaffected by the actions or verbalisations of others. That one, is going to be the hardest one of all because i have let others control me my whole life. Its time to get me back.
Sometimes i just want to cry. But, no matter how hard i try, it doesnt want to come out. My experiences in my past have made my numb to the point where i cant express myself anymore. In the back of my mind, i dont feel valued. I feel that if i express myself that people arnt going to like me. The reality is that, what people think doenst matter. The only person i need to like is myself. If people dont like me because i express myself, then they are not true friends because true friends respect your feelings and opinions.
I have never had really "good" friends or anyone the influenced me in a positive way. I realise now that i haven't had any positive people because i don't really think very highly of myself. So as a result i attract negativity into my life.
Recently i met someone who made me realise something very important. Because i havent seen the positive things in myself i havent seen the positive things in others. I think the stems from my childhood. I grew up in a house where mental health was an issue amongst my parents. (i prefer to keep this private) I was always told as a child that i wasnt a valued person. Under the circumstances it wasnt my parents my fault and i dont know what i could have done to prevent it. However, i need to let go of the past in order to correct the future.
My problems werent just at home but at school as well. At school I was teased a lot and took a lot of what was said on board. I know there is reasearch to say how profound the effects of bullying are, well i am living proof. The research is true and very accurate.
However, i want to improve things and i have to start with myself. As i write this passage, i am coming to the realisation that there were positive things in my childhood. I just have to start acknowledging them.
The first thing i am going to do is acknowledge others and their efforts. I know people say that you must acknowledge the positives in yourself before you acknowledge others . Well i am going to do it in reverse. I am going to build others and build myself at the same time. I have made it my goal say something nice to someone everyday and I have started tonight. I told my mum that i appreciate everything she did for me as a child and i told my friend Tim that i appreciate his friendship. I told my friend Kylee that she looked cute in her picture that was featured in a RSL magazine recently.
Well here goes, this is the start of my journey. Hopefully this will result in me loving myself and being the person i want to be. Which is happy and healthy (which means also slim). I want to take care of my body and realise that i am a valued member of the human race. I also want to be unaffected by the actions or verbalisations of others. That one, is going to be the hardest one of all because i have let others control me my whole life. Its time to get me back.
Monday, October 13, 2008
its been a great day
Today i found out that i have been moved to another workplace next year. I am over the moon about this. When i applied to go i never thought i would get it so quickly.
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